kozzi83 (kozzi83) wrote in irismore,
kozzi83
kozzi83
irismore

Through the eyes of Xilodel

After many pints in the pub I've decided that my exploits are not being sufficiently recorded by Marleybone in his musings and thus have taken to recording personal entries.

Significantly I feel misunderstood and am hoping that I can clear up any misapprehensions individuals may have of me.

I should thank Zac for rewording those last sentences for me, it makes alot more sense now.

Yesterday was interesting, I almost died, many many times. I think i'm getting used to embracing near death like a sultry wench with a bad temprament. It's really Davros' fault, it was him who told me to stand on the door. What do you know, I go stand on the door WHOMP fireball in the belly.

I wasn't to know this at the time, but apparently we'd shitted the assassins guild so significantly that they'd sent their big dude after us. Like the head honcho guy, it was him who tried to stab me the bastard. Well obviously as you do, I didn't take to being stabbed well, calling out for help I decided I too wanted to unleash a fireball up HIS arse!

Chase chase chase, cause the bugger wouldn't stand still, I find myself in the middle of an ambush. Choice, stay alive or kill the bastard. Best three electricity arrows ever! I wish i had lackeys, then they could come and get me when i die and hide me away.

Needless to say I wanted that guys head as a trophy for the pub, so when they took him away we followed with all due haste. Bob's your uncle, fanny's your aunt, we end up in some dodgy guantlet with traps galore and incompetant guards.

This is where I believe I should be able to explain my actions, because everytime gror retells the story it seems to make me seem more and more of a dumbass. However, I think i did really really good. Really good indeed. Whilst I have been known to .... lets say indulge... in aspects of roguery, I never really bothered with any of the useful skills such as disarm traps. I was more interested in making really REALLY good bows! So this place, full of traps, well even if i find them I wouldn't be able to do much about it. Far better not to know when i'm likely do die and to run the guantlet with pride and honour!!!

After a couple of traps my colleagues were thinking I was insane, so they tied me to the dwarf incase i died or similar. This was not my fault. Gror has retold many times at the pub how we fell down a chasm of doom, millions of feet deep, filled with shark infested boiling water. Its totally not true. The fact is that I'd discovered the trap when it collapsed beneath my feat, and was almost able to clear the distance.... until i felt a tug on the rope of a lazy dwarf.

This sudden inertia of the dwarf chugging along is what made me miss the distance and take myself, and gror, down the pitt.

The rest of the day was uneventful, marleybone getting pissed at me. Being told not to do or say anything, although I do believe we had far better results when gror and I did it out own way using as much needless violence as possible.

I even found another shape shifter, joys of tracking down their accursed kind for many a week. Apparently he was an assassin too, getting good at catching them. I'm probably going to get another near death experience for that though.

Anyways if you're reading this, then get the hell outta my room before i test my new bow on you. Oh and don't listen to Gror in the pub
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